Arguements

Recently me and dear... are going thru a phrase where we quarrel alot... he insisted tat i am picking quarrels wif him.. but the thing is... u keep picking on me.. y i cant save money... y other pple wife can do this do tat... y cant i slim down.. u noe... every wkend i hear this.. u tink i not xian? i also will sad de ma... haiz.. i cry also u say... sibei xian de leh.. :(

tink on the 12th July... it was one of our worse quarrels ever... we went over to mic's plc for manjong... *for me is sibei xian.. cos i dunoe how to play and i DO NOT have much interest to learn how to play* and i got to noe one pc of GOOD NEWS!! Michelle C is pregnant!! ... sorry sidetrack sidetrack.... so mic and i were talking abt pregnancy stuff... she was talking abt the cost.. blablabla... den she and hubby got some minor disagreement on the pain-reliving injection...

so i was telling dear tat they have some disagreement on the 500 bucks injection... den suddenly he said... y u so selfish de.. they got share money to pay de... and u dun chip in de lo.. den i stunned lo... haiz... ok la.. i admit.. i have ZERO savings due to the fact i am a SUPER SHOPPERHOLIC... den he ranted on tat i am a selfish person.. blablabla... i cant even get a word in...

haiz..sibei xian lo.. :(.. the quarrel was so bad tat it continued to after dinner... after i washed the dishes and went to cool down.. he continued ranting at me... sighz.. i got so upset i went to his room to cry... i nv felt so bad lo... i mean.. all the money issue can be worked out de ma.. how come he so pissed off abt it? i am NOT ASKING HIM TO PAY everything for me ma... i got no idea how come he become like tat *my gfs was saying mayb stress over money issues plus my parents pushing us to prepare for wedding ... so mayb he broke down when i happened to talk abt someone else money issues*

xianz... after an hr plus of crying den he came into the room... saw me crying and ask me go home cry.. shit man.. tat made me cry even harder.. he is juz like tat de lo.. sometimes too hack care... tat y i always tell him last time... i was too afraid to get married to him cos... i nv noe when he will flare up and ask me to leave the hse.. sighz...

den suddenly he say... mayb we shld break up.. i cant tahan every wkend quarrel wif u.. den u like tis.. i stun.. and cry harder again... haiz.. plus dun ask how to cry harder.. is juz gashes of tears lo.. cry n cry lo.. i din noe wat to do... but in my heart... i dunoe y i had this tinking.. if he nv propose to me.. mayb i will juz agree to the breakup... which bring to mind wat RAM said... he told him if he nv like 'confirm' me... i will leave him the following year... strange rite.. anyway... i did something stupid which got his attn... *young kids pls DO NOT FOLLOW THIS STUPID JIE JIE's action* got a pen knife and cut myself.. ya la.. i noe is stupid.. hahaha...

he was stunned and try to wrestle the penknife away from me... he managed and i juz kept on holding his wrists... initally he try to remove my hands den he juz left my hands there... so i tried to talk some sense into him la.. i din noe how much he actually understood la.. by the time he sent me home.. he seems normal...

the next day i din see him on msn.. i asked where is he.. he say he in meeting...

tue (14/07) my msn nick had the crying icon on it.. he asked me y crying icon... sometimes i tink dear v kuku head... v obvious ma.. so i told him u said u wanted to break up ma.. of cos i scared... den he say... next time ignore wat i said when i angry... haiz... but.. still... sighz... i dunoe... he proceeded to 'hong' me lo.. wif stuipd but cute icons...

i really am worried abt this relationship.. it juz seems so fragile at times and so firm and solid at times too.. :(