2 more days to cny

oh god.... i am so rotting at home.... i feel like a slug.... i juz dun wanna move... is weird... i feel so unmotivated.... :(.... dun really wanna go out... mayb cos i was tinking of the my money situation... it is so pathetic rite now... broke broke broke.... :( freaking pathetic...

i was out buying some cny goodies... *on him* haha... i window shop abit... i realized... i dun have any mood to buy any of the stuff.... cos i tink i wan to save my $$ for rainy days or outings wif my dearies... but it juz felt freakin weird tat i din get anything.. haiz

another note... i REALLY NEED TO LOSE WGT... like freaking soon... my dearie wedding in mar.. so is my bro's... oh god.... how how how... been joggin... doing some exercise here and there... trying to reduce my carbo intake... BUT whenever i am moody i start munching... this is so shitty... :( .... i noe he is pretty disappointed in me... he tried various way to get me to exercise... haiz... shit... i am feeling like a failure rite now... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'((((

i guess i am really very moody rite now... when i booze...if in a good mood... i juz get a lil high.. bad mood.. i will start to tear... and i am teaaring rite now.. shit shit shit... no wonder winnie dearie was saying... she worries tat i will break down cos i am not working rite now... to her... it is even worse den juz breaking up... i kind of understand wat she meant by tat... cos i am feeling worse den juz breaking up... :(((

side track : i kinda of love clazziquai... cool music... their music playing rite now... hear this now michelle quek blog some time back... den i hunt aro for their music... mostly quite cheery tunes.. BUT in korean.. some in eng though... haha

when am i gonna get a job... haiz... i am feeling so bad rite now.. :(.... so insecure tat i am huggin my toy giraffe to slp now... haha... btw.. it is really cute.. purple in colour wif a cheery smile on its face...

sighzzzzzz

one of the most miserable day in my life

today is one the most miserable day in my life.... mayb is cos i am cope up in my hse in my room most of the time... i dunoe... i am uber miserbale and depressed... many pple tell me... do temp la... do this do tat... HELLOOOO if the position was reversed.. will u do temp... when they want to bind u for at least more den 3 mths... how to tell ur future employer tat... sorry leh... i can only join after 3 mths... blablabla... den come the idiotic talk.... take lower pay la... HELLOOO... i already edited my expected pay... i place it lower liao... wat u wan me to do... i send resumes for 1k plus job??? i received calls tat say... hmm... i like ur resume but u seem over qualified for this job... blablabla... i hear also xianz.... u all not in my shoes... dun comment too much.. pls... use ur pea sized brain and think wat u will do if u are jobless at this timin... dun bloody hell shoot u mouth off and say y i din do this din do tat... it is BLOODY HELL IRRITATING!!!! i din ask for this.. i din wish for this to happen...

i am bcoming terribly insecure... shit... i hate this... yes i have my frds... but... i really dun noe how to express this feeling out... i really dun... it is hard for them to understand as they are not in my shoes... not at home facing the 4 walls everyday wif a parnoid mum naggin at minor stuff.... i sick of acting so strong in front of others... taking their critisms like i dun care wat they tink... i do care wat they tink abt me... *sadness*

*takes tissue and wipes her face... :(*

i wan to cuddle up in some1's arms.... i wan to be away from all these...

1st POST!!! Muhaha

well..... i always wanted to set up a blog on my own.... and after some arhmmm... alcoholic help.... here i am.... doing this... haha.... linda in her lala land.... i was tinking abt this name in the afternoon... so fitting for me.... i initially wanted confessions of a shopholic.... welll.... it was taken... haha....

let's see.... to date... i am jobless for 2 mths and 15 days.... this is a feat for me as i normally hunt and get jobs pretty fast... oh well.... i take it as a well deserved break.... i work non-stop for like... hmmm.... 6-7 years.... haha... i noe is not a lot but well... to this soon to be 27-year old gal.... it's pretty longggggggggggg.............

was talking to some of my frds online.... they were pretty encouraging... haha.... they do noe it's hard to get jobs nowadays... so i was pretty glad for their support.... actually i guess i pretty lucky... to have frds who are sooooo supportive.... some of my frds treat me me meals here and there... bought me stuff.... i mean... i am seriously grateful.... i do feel loved.... i noe they care and they wan to cheer me up... at times i was seriously moody.... cos... i kinda of hate not working.... i am some1 who needs human interface... it is DAMN BORING TO BE AT HOME DAY IN DAY OUT!!!!

okie... anywayz... i was reading "Chicken Soup for the Dog Lover's Soul".... i was tearing like nobody biz.... it's pretty amazing wat dogs can do when they put their mind to it.... i do wan a dog when i have my own hse.... haha... my dream is to have a cat and a dog livin in the same hse... hoho.... do hope it comes true... i read this in the book....

Judgement Day

On Judgement Day Saint Peter stands,
A list of virtues in his hands.
As all the souls in silence wait
To see who'll pass through heaven's gate.
"You''ll enter first," he says, "If you
can swear with your heart was always true.
And tou were constant to the end,
A steadfast, loyal, devoted friend.
Never spiteful, never mean,
Unchanging through good times and lean,
With no desire but thus: to be
allowed to love eternally."
And this is why Saint Peter's hand
Throws wide the heavenly portals, and
With wagging tails and shining eyes
The dogs walk into paradise

~Millicent Bobleter

how not to be touched???? *Smiles*